god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
