Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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