C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
