Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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