Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
