He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
