So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
