I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
