My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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