I think im going to throw up on grandma
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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