pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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