I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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