We're like a lot better than the average bears
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
