This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize