Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
