sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can't turn off my feet"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
