make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
