I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
