I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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