How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
