I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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