This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
