Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
