To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
handjob tips. give me some.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
