So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize