Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
