He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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