I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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