bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
