So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
