Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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