You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
