I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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