Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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