I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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