even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
