It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
