ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
