shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
