I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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