WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize