I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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