Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize