If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
