So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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