Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
