i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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