Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
