But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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