who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
