My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
