Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
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