You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
