And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
be right there i have to get my cape
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
