I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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