she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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