how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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