if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
