It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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