I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
