he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
