I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
