it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
