I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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