he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize