stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
