wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
