I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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