I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
