so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
