we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
there was a trapeze. enough said
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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