And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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