After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize