Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I got chris browned last night
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
