Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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