Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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