singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
