He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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