I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
