fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
