you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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