Fuck appropriateness.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
