Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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