Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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